The Art of Confidence (my views)

I have come to realize that in today's world and probably yesterdays world too, one must have confidence in themselves and their abilities. There is so much you can do that you probably don't even know about. When you have confidence in yourself, there is a bit of an art to it. You can't be arrogant, you shouldn't be cocky, you should just know your worth and have the ability to sell that worth to others. ( Shouldn't be hard to do )

Ask yourself, what are you good at? What are you passionate about? What do you want to do? Why do you want to do it? What are you driven or motivated by? Then take all these questions, answer them and pull from there. This is the art of confidence. According to Websters, confidence means "assurance: freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities." How do you gain and keep it? 

1.Well first you must empower yourself to have it. Tell your self there's nothing you can't do, but be realistic of coarse. If you can't do a back bend, a head stand, ending in a split, I don't suggest you attempt to or tell people that you can. That wouldn't be confidence, that would just be stupidity. (Not to mention the doctors bill you would accrue behind such an attempt!) What I mean is just having a can do, go get it, upbeat spirit, that is displayed in your demeanor. That's confidence.


2. Show your abilities through actions. Have you ever met that person who just talks, talks, and talks more about how great they are at something and how they can do this and that if just given a chance; yet you have seen no physical proof?  Well it's nice to feel this way, but what actions have you taken to show this ability? It doesn't just have to be in your work place. What about things you do outside of your job that everyone has the ability to see and possibly remember you for those talents? If you talk the game, allow people to see how well you play it.

3.Do your homework. What have other confident, successful, and smart people done that lead them to their big break? I tell people all the time, do a  Google, Bing, Yahoo, Ask Jeeves, whatever search, and ask questions about your interest and you can get a slew of very helpful answers.  For example, if I want to know more about marketing myself or my product, I wouldn't just go next door and ask my neighbor. I would do an online search about ways this can be done. This allows you to gather as much information as you can and builds your confidence in finding ways to do it.


4. Don't let the stumbling blocks make you lose it. Life will happen, there will be disappointments and people may not believe in you no matter how well you have proven yourself. This can be very disheartening I know first hand, but the good thing is YOU know you can do this! ( where's that confidence?) Don't let feelings of failure and let down  cause you to lose your confidence. I tell people all the time," If you don't get it in the washing, get it in the rinsing." I don't know who to quote for that; but I swear by it. Trust me the right people who matter will see you; just find a different way or approach to what you're doing and keep on doing it anyway. Just because they  didn't select or choose you doesn't mean someone else won't see your value. It will pay off, keep confidence alive! 

5. Finally, Surround yourself with like minded people who get it. If you want to learn more about writing or social media, hanging around people passionate about nothing more than eating and sleeping probably won't keep you inspired. Hook up with and begin to mingle more with people who write or who are social media geeks, with a loyal following and a pretty descent track record to show for it. Ask questions, collaborate with them, and just have fun being involved and around what you love.Sooner or later you will begin to see a bit of a buzz and a demand for you and what you're doing.  This plays a huge part in building your confidence and most of all keeping it.

Confidence is like a fine piece of art sitting over your mantle, while it may have the ability to bring you wealth; the beauty of it is priceless! (Tinzley) 

I included a link to some other great confidence blogs on "Net Worked Blogs about confidence" take a visit, very nice sights   http://www.networkedblogs.com/topic/Confidence/


Tinzley Bradford

Doing good only gets better....

Today while I was at work on my way from lunch, I looked back and noticed a guy heading my way with a fully loaded cart of something I'm assuming he needed. I looked at him and asked, " Are you coming this way?" He replied, " Yes." I held the door so he could get in with out such a struggle and possibly dropping something. He thanked me and asked me if I like chocolate. "Of coarse" I said yes. He gave me a candy bar pre-packaged with what ever organization he works with on the label. I looked at him, smiled, accepted the candy bar and asked, "Who are you?" I know I hadn't seen him before. He told me his name, we shook hands and he walked off.

For a few minutes we made a connection, one I'm certain he won't forget and neither will I. When I noticed the organization he works with, it brought tears to my eyes, for I knew this was a strong, kind, loving yet dedicated man. Glad I had the pleasure to meet him.

The other day, I told a woman her hair was beautiful....

While I was on my way in Walmart, I was greeted by an older woman who was working the door as a greeter. I had a return to make so she stopped me and asked to tag my bag. Usually I would have gotten irritated because I know I don't steal, so why does my bag need to be tagged?  I'd just witnessed someone ahead of me being not so nice, and treating this lady like she was a nobody. I could see this lady looked to be at retirement age, trying to make ends meet. The look on her face and the energy she gave was that of someone afraid and not knowing where they stood in life. Not to mention the person ahead of me who'd just snatched a bag back from her and stormed off without even saying thank you. I could tell this woman was hurt by that, and God only knows how many people had been treating her that way all day long.

What if she was a grandmother who'd recently taken custody of her grandchildren for what ever reason? What if her husband, soul mate, and only person she had to support her recently fell sick and they can't afford the medical expenses, so she has to go back to work? What if she just lost everything she had in her retirement ( remember Enron?) and now she had to go back to work?

All she wants is to do her job and do it well. All she wants is to service customers the way she was trained.All she needs is to be loved.I thought can I be that someone she needs, just for the moment?

I looked her in her eyes as she scanned my bag, smiled and said,"your hair is beautiful and fits you well!" Her face lit up and she smiled back and began to tell me how much easier it is to manage. It was salt and pepper and was cut in the prettiest style. She handed my bag back, smiled and told me the service desk was straight down to my left. I said "Thank You!"


Tinzley Bradford

Yesterday I gave money to a lady who asked.....

Yesterday while I was shopping, a lady asked me if I had a dollar I could spare so she could have enough to pay for her groceries. I gave her four dollars. I didn't even know her name or her story, I just knew she was a person in need. I know it's a gift to have enough love in your heart to  not judge her because she's in the grocery store with out enough money, but to love her and give from your heart. I wish I could have paid for all her groceries.

Tinzley bradford

Today I reached out to old friends and co-workers I haven't spoken to in a long time.

It was nice connecting with old friends and co-workers, some I haven't seen or spoken to in years. They were just as warm as they always have been, which shows distance doesn't mean a thing when the bond you have is sincere. People will always show you love when you step back into the scene.

I strongly encourage anyone to just reach out to someone no matter how long it's been and get caught up, tell them they were just on your mind, or just send them a nice note. I tell you, love goes a long way and showing it no matter how little or big,can mean the world to someone. There are times when people may be going through some things and at times don't have the time or the energy to stay in touch, that's where you come in.
Make someone's day, reach out and make a difference in someones life, you never know; you may be just what they need.

Tinzley Bradford